Family of the YEAR - - The REITANS!!

This is an article written by Elizabeth Stiras, for Lavender Magazine:

In times of crisis and in times of joy, a family comes together and rises like a phoenix, overcoming its struggles as a united force. The Reitan family—father, Philip; mother, Randi; children, Britta, Josh, Ben, and Jacob—have faced personal, public, and political battles that have made them stronger than ever. The obstacles and the triumphs have brought them to a point where they can take on any challenge.

It’s hard to miss a Reitan. If you haven’t met them at a rally, a protest, or a fund-raiser, you may have seen them at a showing of Daniel Karslake’s film For the Bible Tells Me So. The critically acclaimed documentary confronts the misuse of the Bible to condemn homosexuality, and follows five families of faith with gay children. Alongside notable names like Chrissy Gephardt, daughter of former US House Minority Leader Richard A. Gephardt and his wife, Jane, and Bishop V. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church, the Reitans talk about their journey of acceptance.

What makes the Reitans’s profile so compelling is how a quiet Lutheran family from the Midwest had their lives transformed in the blink of an eye. While the world at large can follow their story from the comfort of a theater seat in less than two hours, the real story started 10 years ago, and continues to unfold to this day. As a 15-year-old sophomore, Jacob, the youngest of four children, first came out to his sister, Britta.

Jacob recalls, “My sister was home from her first year at college. It was tremendously difficult for me to actually say I was gay. I think it is for anybody the first time they come out. The act of doing so can feel like such a Pandora’s box event. But despite my struggle to actually say the words, I felt safe, because I knew my sister would be supportive of me. Time and again, before my coming out, she made statements to me and others in support of gay rights. In retrospect, those statements were so important in making me feel safe in my own skin.”

"We had talked a bit about homosexuality at the dinner table. Jake knew he would always have our love and support, but it was not an issue that we had ever dealt with before he told us,” Randi remembers.

It took a year before Jacob came out to his parents. They embraced him, but their first reactions were difficult. For Philip, it seemed like all his dreams for Jacob had been shattered. Randi cried, and then headed to the bookstore to learn more. They both went to psychologists, psychiatrists, pastors, and doctors.

“We met with a pastor who said that Jake would have a dark, sad life,” Randi recounts.

The struggle didn’t stay private. Even before Jacob had come out publicly, vandals had left their hateful marks by smashing his car window, throwing rocks through the window of Philip’s law firm, leaving raw eggs in the family mailbox, breaking lampposts in front of the home, and chalking a slur on the driveway.

“I didn’t go to sleep at night until Jake’s car was in the garage,” Randi admits.

Randi and Philip have made their support public through newspaper commentaries, regular participation in Pride events, and protests. They have attempted to deliver a letter to a Catholic bishops meeting in Minneapolis, and traveled to Rome to protest at the Vatican.

In total, Randi and Philip have been arrested eight times. Two of the arrests were at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah, and the US Military Academy at West Point, New York, in demonstrations rooted in the principle of civil disobedience. The arresting officer at BYU told Philip that he was a class act. At BYU, Jacob read aloud a stack of obituaries, each representing a student who had taken his or her life out of an inability to reconcile orientation and faith.

“Parents are taught to not accept their children,” Randi explains.

Randi and Philip participate in demonstrations to support Jacob, but also do so for other families who need voices of acceptance to beckon them away from destructive influences in conservative Christian culture.

“You do the arrests so the students see loving, accepting parents,” Randi says.

“My siblings and my parents each take a role in the fight for gay rights,” Jacob stresses. “Whether it is getting arrested in a public demonstration for gay rights, attending a gay rights rally, giving to a gay rights organization, or marching in a gay rights parade, they each do their part. And as a gay person, when society at times makes me feel like a second-class citizen, it is so wonderful to know my family has my back.”

The cinematic climax of For the Bible Tells Me So comes when Randi, Philip, and Jacob visit the conservative organization Focus on the Family, headed by Dr. James Dobson. It promotes a strict message telling parents of gay children not to accept homosexuality. The Reitans wouldn’t stand for such a message they believed was destructive to families. With a heartfelt letter in hand, the three stepped onto the group’s Colorado Springs, Colorado, property, only to be arrested promptly on the charge of trespassing.

Jacob began working in activism while still attending Mankato West High School by starting the first Gay/Straight Alliance at the school. He has expanded his mission from the walls of a small-town high school into cities all over the country by founding the Soulforce Equality Ride. Inspired by the civil rights activism of the Freedom Riders in the 1960s, he launched the bus tour that targets conservative campuses, and attacks ideological barriers through nonviolent demonstrations and dialogues. In its first year, the Ride hit 19 campuses. This year, it took an impressive journey to 32 campuses.

The Reitan family has been all over the map, their schedule this year a whirlwind of promotional appearances taking them to New York, Los Angeles, and the Sundance Film Festival. Most importantly, Randi and Philip have attended screenings of For the Bible Tells Me So in Midwestern cities like Fargo, North Dakota, and Columbus, Ohio, where it enjoyed a special two-night run. One showing alone drew an audience of more than 500 people. Considering that given the opportunity to vote to support gay marriage, a majority of Ohio voters said no, the location seemed ideal. The Reitans believe it’s important to reach those who haven’t heard the message, or choose to spread pervasive ignorance in the name of the Christian faith.

“They’re the ones speaking the untruths,” Randi emphasizes.

“They’re the ones who need to see it,” Philip adds.

After showings, it’s not unusual for audience members to line up waiting to meet the Reitans.

“They were moved to tears, and it was heartwarming to visit with them,” Randi shares. “There was one gay man who wanted to hug me just because I was a mother.”

The Reitans hope to bring the message closer to institutions of faith, where many of the untruths are entrenched. In the six years leading up to the most recent churchwide assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) this summer in Chicago, they fought for measures that would move toward acceptance, including lifting the ban on openly gay clergy and gay marriage. Despite all the hard work, those measures didn’t pass.

“We worked very hard as Lutherans to make a difference,” Randi points out. The Reitans since have left the ELCA—it became too much. Randi wonders, “How can you sing songs of justice as a congregation, and not live them?” But leaving the church shouldn’t be confused with abandoning faith. “My faith has been strengthened by my journey,” Randi states. Randi and Philip visit services and attend church events all over the Twin Cities. “There are many wonderful people who remain in the church,” Philip notes.

Jacob’s Equality Ride is a part of Soulforce, an interfaith organization that incorporates nonviolent resistance in response to religiously based discrimination toward the GLBT community. Equality Ride is run by Soulforce Q, the young adults division of the organization. Soulforce cofounder and president Reverend Dr. Mel White first met the Reitans in 2001 at an ELCA National Assembly in Indianapolis.

“We believe in taking it to the streets,” White relates. “Too often, these churches talk about us like we don’t exist.”

As well as working with Jacob as an activist, White is also his mentor and godfather

“Jake is the future of our movement,” White enthuses. “He’s a symbol of people who refuse to be quiet. He’s a person of faith, and he’s an activist. Jake is unique in that he calls people to faith and justice.”

Jacob, a graduate student at Harvard Divinity School, takes every issue directly to the core audience. When he took on the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, he brought his Right to Serve campaign to recruitment centers by attempting to enlist as an openly gay man.

As Jacob watched each of his three siblings tie the knot over the past two years, the issue of gay marriage hit home for him and his family. He served as best man for his brothers and man of honor for his sister. His siblings long for the day that Jacob can enjoy the same privileges as they do, and they speak out whenever they can.

“My heart was full of joy watching them marry the person they deeply loved, but I also cried, knowing that my youngest son could not do what they were doing,” Randi reveals. “All people should be able to marry, and share their love.”

“The whole family is passionate about this issue,” White points out.

The option of civil unions instead of civil marriage establishes an unnecessary and inherently unfair distinction, according to Philip: “There’s no reason for it, unless on some level, they’re saying it’s not equal.”

Looking back, Jacob concludes, “I know how lucky I am to have such tremendous support from both my parents and my siblings. Ever since I was a baby, my parents were an advocate for me. They supported me in all I did. They worked to see that my dreams and hopes could be realized. Therefore, it is not surprising that after they came to accept the fact that I was gay, they also become gay rights advocates. When a pastor, a politician, a church, or a community takes an antigay stand, my mom and dad take it personally. Their protective instincts kick in. For my parents, it’s not just an issue—it is their son’s humanity on the line, and for that cause, there is little they would not do.”

As 2007 comes to a close and 2008 approaches, the Reitans look forward to the future with hope. For the Bible Tells Me So will be coming to their former hometown of Mankato, and Randi and Philip will be speaking at a human rights forum in conjunction with the screenings. The invigorating life of activism, faith, and family embraced by the Reitans have made them an unstoppable force in the realm of religion and the world at large.

Hollywood Farm Girl Inspires Me

http://hollywoodfarmgirl.blogspot.com/

It's Been Awhile

Once again, a few months have passed. I will get better at this, I promise. My sister's wedding in September couldn't have gone more beautifully. It was a gorgeous day, with a stunning bride and her handsome groom; as guests we were treated to a wonderful weekend of fun and time spent together. Kjersti and Alex are planning to move to Minnesota from Atlanta sometime in the next 6 months or so. Nothing will make me happier! I'm thrilled that she's found someone who loves and cares for her the way Alex does. And he's scored himself a pretty fantastic bride, too! I moved in October and have been working hard at making my new house a home. This year, I hosted Thanksgiving, with LOTS of help from my Mom, and sister/brother-in-law. We had the privilege of trying a Duval-Arnould tradition - the Onion Thing. It was fabulous! I used a Martha Stewart recipe for the turkey, and I have to say, it was pretty darn good. There were 8 of us total for dinner, and we had a great afternoon and evening. That weekend, we also had some of the cousins over for brunch. Ben and Emily (looking adorably pregnant), Josh and Jen with little Brock (SO cute!!), along with Britta and Jake. It was a yummy brunch, of course peppered with our normal witty banter and political repartee. It's always nice to dine with such intelligent, intuitive (might I say "like-minded") people!
Fast forward to December: I have yet to begin my Christmas shopping. This will change very soon. I was able to get my tree up during Thanksgiving weekend, with the assistance of my very gracious house guests. I had a little party last week, during which I was introduced to my dear friend Stephanie's new "friend" Keith. Listening to him talk was like sitting in a room with Harry Connick Jr. He had that perfect Louisiana drawl. Not the annoying Texas Twang kind, just that little added lilt to certain words. Suffice it to say, he was a hit. Embarrassingly, I had made my own version of Jambalaya as one of my party dishes (it goes like hotcakes at the office food day!), without knowing that I would have a real southerner here to try it. (I'm guessing Zataran's wouldn't cut it in his social circles down south, even though it did have chicken, shrimp and sausage added...lol) I may have altered my choice, had I realized that in advance. Also in attendance were several friends from work, with their kids, and Chere and Nick, and Maury and Dee Ann - my buds from way back in the day. It was really great to see everyone; that's the kind of thing I want to do more of this year.
I'm on my way now to do a little bit of shopping this evening but more updates will follow. If you read this blog from time to time, you're going to see many tidbits that I find here and there online, but I'll always give credit to the authors. Then, there will be the occasional note from me with some recent event in my life. My cats, Zoey and Bella, may also make appearances.

For now, Merry Christmas everyone!
Donna

My Hero, Keith Olbermann - Dated December 6th, 2007

Finally, as promised, a Special Comment about the President’s cataclysmic deception about Iran.
There are few choices more terrifying than the one Mr. Bush has left us with tonight.
We have either a president who is too dishonest to restrain himself from invoking World War Three about Iran at least six weeks after he had to have known that the analogy would be fantastic, irresponsible hyperbole — or we have a president too transcendently stupid not to have asked — at what now appears to have been a series of opportunities to do so — whether the fairy tales he either created or was fed, were still even remotely plausible.
A pathological presidential liar, or an idiot-in-chief. It is the nightmare scenario of political science fiction: A critical juncture in our history and, contained in either answer, a president manifestly unfit to serve, and behind him in the vice presidency: an unapologetic war-monger who has long been seeing a world visible only to himself.
After Ms Perino’s announcement from the White House late last night, the timeline is inescapable and clear now.
In August, the President was told by his hand-picked Major Domo of intelligence, Mike McConnell, a flinty, high-strung-looking, worrying-warrior who will always see more clouds than silver linings, that what “everybody thought” about Iran might be, in essence, crap.
Yet on October 17th the President said of Iran and its president, Ahmadinejad:
“I’ve told people that if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge to make a nuclear weapon.”
And as he said that, Mr. Bush knew that at bare minimum there was a strong chance that his rhetoric was nothing more than words with which to scare the Iranians.
Or was it, sir, to scare the Americans?
Does Iran not really fit into the equation here? Have you just scribbled it into the fill-in-the-blank on the same template you used to scare us about Iraq?
In August, any commander-in-chief still able-minded or uncorrupted or both, sir, would have invoked the quality the job most requires: mental flexibility.
A bright man, or an honest man, would have realized no later than the McConnell briefing that the only true danger about Iran was the damage that could be done by an unhinged, irrational Chicken Little of a president, shooting his mouth off, backed up by only his own hysteria and his own delusions of omniscience.
Not Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mr Bush.
The Chicken Little of presidents is the one, sir, that you see in the mirror.
And the mind reels at the thought of a Vice President fully briefed on the revised intel as long as two weeks ago — briefed on the fact that Iran abandoned its pursuit of this imminent threat four years ago — who never bothered to mention it to his boss.
It is nearly forgotten today, but throughout much of Ronald Reagan’s presidency, it was widely believed that he was little more than a front-man for some never-viewed, behind-the-scenes string-puller.
Today, as evidenced by this latest remarkable, historic malfeasance, it is inescapable, that Dick Cheney is either this president’s evil ventriloquist, or he thinks he is.
What servant of any of the 42 previous presidents could possibly withhold information of this urgency and this gravity, and wind up back at his desk the next morning, instead of winding up before a Congressional investigation — or a criminal one?
Mr Bush — if you can still hear us — if you did not previously agree to this scenario in which Dick Cheney is the actual detective and you’re the Remington Steele — you must disenthrall yourself: Mr Cheney has usurped your constitutional powers, cut you out of the information loop, and led you down the path to an unprecedented presidency in which the facts have become optional, the intel is valued less than the hunch, and the assistant runs the store.
The problem is, sir, your assistant is robbing you — and your country — blind.
Not merely in monetary terms, Mr. Bush, but more importantly, robbing you of the traditions and righteousness for which we have stood, at great risk, for centuries: Honesty, Law, Moral Force.
Mr. Cheney has helped, sir, to make your administration into the kind our ancestors saw in the 1860’s and 1870’s and 1880’s — the ones that abandoned Reconstruction, and sent this country marching backwards into the pit of American Apartheid.
Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland…
Presidents who will be remembered only in a blur of failure, Mr. Bush.
Presidents who will be remembered as functions only of those who opposed them — the opponents whom history proved right.
Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland… Bush.
Would that we could let this President off the hook by seeing him only as marionette or moron.
But a study of the mutation of his language about Iran proves that though he may not be very good at it, he is, himself, still a manipulative, Machiavellian, snake-oil salesman.
The Bushian etymology was tracked by Dan Froomkin at the Washington Post’s website.
It is staggering.
March 31st: “Iran is trying to develop a nuclear weapon…”
June 5th: Iran’s “pursuit of nuclear weapons…”
June 19th: “consequences to the Iranian government if they continue to pursue a nuclear weapon…”
July 12th: “the same regime in Iran that is pursuing nuclear weapons…”
August 6th: “this is a government that has proclaimed its desire to build a nuclear weapon…”
Notice a pattern?
Trying to develop, build or pursue a nuclear weapon.
Then, sometime between August 6th and August 9th, those terms are suddenly swapped out, so subtly that only in retrospect can we see that somebody has warned the President, not only that he has gone out too far on the limb of terror — but there may not even be a tree there…
McConnell, or someone, must have briefed him then.
August 9th: “They have expressed their desire to be able to enrich uranium, which we believe is a step toward having a nuclear weapons program…”
August 28th: “Iran’s active pursuit of technology that could lead to nuclear weapons…”
October 4th: “you should not have the know-how on how to make a (nuclear) weapon…”
October 17th: “until they suspend and/or make it clear that they, that their statements aren’t real, yeah, I believe they want to have the capacity, the knowledge, in order to make a nuclear weapon.”
Before August 9th, it’s: “Trying to develop, build or pursue a nuclear weapon.”
After August 9th, it’s: “Desire, pursuit, want… knowledge, technology, know-how to enrich uranium.”
And we are to believe, Mr. Bush, that the National Intelligence Estimate this week talks of the Iranians suspending their nuclear weapons program in 2003…And you talked of the Iranians suspending their nuclear weapons program on October 17th…
And that term suspending is just a coincidence?
And we are to believe, Mr. Bush, that nobody told you any of this until last week?
Your insistence that you were not briefed on the NIE until last week might be legally true — something like “what the definition of ‘is’ is” — but with the subject matter being not interns but the threat of nuclear war.
Legally, it might save you from some war crimes trial… but ethically, it is a lie.
It is indefensible.
You have been yelling threats into a phone for nearly four months, after the guy on the other end had already hung up.
You, Mr. Bush, are a bald-faced liar.
And more over, you must have realized that John Bolton, and Norman Podhoretz, and the Wall Street Journal Editorial board, are also bald-faced liars.
We are to believe that the Intel Community, or maybe the State Department, cooked the raw intelligence about Iran, falsely diminished the Iranian nuclear threat, to make you look bad?
And you proceeded to let them make you look bad?
You not only knew all of this about Iran, in early August, but you also knew it was all accurate.
And instead of sharing this good news with the people you have obviously forgotten you represent, you merely fine-tuned your terrorizing of those people, to legally cover your own backside, while you filled the factual gap with sadistic visions of — as you phrased it on August 28th: a quote “nuclear holocaust” — and, as you phrased it on October 17th, quote: “World War III.”
My comments, Mr. Bush, are often dismissed as simple repetitions of the phrase “George Bush has no business being president.”
Well, guess what?
Tonight: hanged by your own words and convicted by your own deliberate lies…
You, sir, have no business being president.
Good night, and good luck.